Are You Who You Really Are?

23 Aug

Since my Aha! moment where I saw my observer role from a new perspective, I have been reflecting…a lot. I have decided there are so many ways we can fool ourselves and think we are living our best lives. Here are a few of them:

  • Trying to make EVERYONE ELSE happy
  • Doing what the experts, or maybe peers, say you “SHOULD” be doing
  • Striving to be the “perfect” son/daughter, parent, spouse, friend
  • Researching ways to help others with THEIR current interests or projects
  • Talking or thinking of others…family members, friends, acquaintances, people in the news…and how THEY could live their lives better

In each of these situations, the focus is primarily on what others in our lives are thinking, feeling, saying or doing. It is a good thing to be helpful to others, especially those we love and those who have actually reached out to us. A problem arises when others become the main focus of our lives, and our own needs and desires become consistently subordinate, or even nonexistent. (And it’s also a problem to think we know what is best for someone else!)

As a result of the focus on others in my life, I lost touch with myself and my own feelings, preferences, needs and desires. Overtime, I adopted those of others…but they never quite fit me.

Recently, I have been discovering my own needs and desires And the one thing I know for sure is that I really do want to be helpful and give to others. I just need to do it in a more balanced way. It is time for me to grow up and become who I really am!

Are you who you really are?

9 Responses to “Are You Who You Really Are?”

  1. aboldbear August 23, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    You summed it up for me beautifully….

  2. Debra Williams August 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm #

    Beautifully said and oh so true. You really have me thinking about my life now. What do I really want in life? I too, tend to think of others first and do what “they” expect. Thanks for making me THINK! Very refreshing.

    • Healthy A-Z August 23, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

      Sometimes I feel a little vulnerable when I share, so I’m glad it provides food for thought for you, too. Thanks for letting me know you could relate.

  3. Koe August 26, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    yeah, I used to be like that, trying to make everyone happy. but hey, it’s not the purpose of life. It’s not about how to fit in society by making others happy. it’s about how to survive without changing who you really am and fit yourself in your own way.

    • Healthy A-Z August 26, 2012 at 10:51 am #

      Some of us see that a little later than others.:-)

  4. sambia75 October 2, 2012 at 1:19 am #

    I saw a good presentation on Ted.com that say human can only be happy from helping others. But the motive still is about our own happiness. So, to be selfish we need to be selfless. Am i making sense.

    • Healthy A-Z October 2, 2012 at 7:59 am #

      Yes, that makes perfect sense to me. It’s a win/win for yourself and for others.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Be-YOU-tiful! | Healthy A-Z - March 12, 2013

    […] and observing. (I have written about my predisposition to really listen and observe…here and here.) Maybe it is simply an inborn sense. I don’t really […]

  2. My “DUH!” Moment | Healthy A-Z - May 13, 2013

    […] I had some interesting insights. One of them was one I had pondered and talked about (in my Are You Who You Really Are? post), but this time I was seeing it from another […]

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